Beloved Reaction

I might as well post this before I forget; every day BUT Thursday, I remember I have a blog due, but I put it off. I'm not sure how to change that...

I'll be honest, I've yet to finish Beloved. Don't get me wrong, I do plan to, it just hasn't happened yet. My reaction so far has been the following, however. (In cronilogical order):
-This is dumb
-Okay...
-Not interesting
-I lied, kind of interesting
-What the #%$*?
-If I read "sweet and sticky brest milk" one more time...
-I think I just reread the same sentence a good four times
-This is really only written for a certain audience. That audience is not named Monty.

And so on. About that last comment, though: I really do see this as written for a certain target audience. It's not presented in a universal sort of way (if that makes sense). Toni Morrison is an African American who is very interested in her culture's past, and that shines through in her work. I do appreciate this very much, I'm a firm believer in writing about something one feels passion for, but the presentation is for those who feel the same way. I'm not saying I'm incapable of understanding this novel because I'm a white girl with no past of oppressed anscestors (though we could say women...). In fact, I see the pain Morrison succeeds in giving light rather well. But there is a level I'm not sure I'm able to reach with this book. Perhaps I'm wrong and have made myself look racist on the internet, but this is what I feel.

Anybody else see what I'm trying to say?

College Ventings

This post really won't serve a huge purpose except as a canvas for some venting.

College: this whole societal view that you'll amount to nothing if you don't attend a higher institution of learning is crap in my eyes. Many, many people have skipped out on attending college, and they have pretty good lives. And of course in order to get into a good college, you have to be perfect in high school. If you aren't, then you're kind of just abandoned with the dregs of people deemed unintelligent. So why even bother?

I fall into this category to a T. My GPA isn't the best, and I procrastinate a lot. I don't learn very well in the environment presented by a high school. But I really do want to go to college. Ever since I was in fifth grade, I've been really excited to go to a far off university and study something fabulous. It might sound strange, but my guess is this spawned from the fact my mother was getting her BA around this time, and I looked up to her quite a bit. There hasn't been a point since then that I haven't been intrigued by the concept of college (well, except for my freshman year, when the idea of living in the back of a van after high school seemed pretty awesome--we don't need to talk about that).

So senior year rolls around, and I get super insecure about applying anywhere; what if I don't get accepted, why did I not do work during my first three years of high school, why is this so damn stessful??? I got over it though, and took the chance of utter rejection. Now here is what triggered this post: one of the colleges I applied to said they'd let me know the final decision no later than February 1st. Guess what day it is? February 3rd. Guess who doesn't know if she got accepted or not? That's right, Monty! So now I'm annoyed and stressed out. I'm no good at this waiting game; I should probably develop a bit more patience. But maybe they're mailing something. Who knows. I'm just going to curse this whole process until it's over, and curl up in the fetal position.